Secret Cabinet Meeting in Co. Offaly

It has emerged that the Irish Cabinet had a secret meeting last night in a secluded place near Clara, the Taoiseach's home village in Co. Offaly.
When asked about it by journalists, the government's new unofficial spokesman Willie O'Dea refused to comment. But a reliable eyewitness reports that the meeting was held "in the spirit of the season", even though "some would have mistaken it for a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan".
Only Tanaiste Mary Coughlan (pictured right) refused to wear the traditional over-garment and appeared uncovered.
"I wouldn't wear a burka, so I'm not wearing this either," she was overheard saying to Taoiseach Brian Cowen, who eventually accepted her "eccentric attitude".
Foreign Affairs Minister Michael Martin commented that it was "not a beauty contest", adding that otherwise he would take his bedsheet off, too. But the Taoiseach was having none of it.
"You can do that in Cork, you tosser," he told Martin, "but not here in Clara. This is Offaly!"
Despite attempts to learn more about the nature of the meeting, no statement was issued and all participants have refused to comment.

Brian Cowen's Hallowe'en Address

While many Heads of State give a traditional address to their nation on Christmas Day, and many Prime Ministers speak to their people on New Year's Day (January 1st), Ireland's new Prime Minister, who is a fluent speaker of Irish (Us Gaelge), decided to create a tradition of his own.
Taoiseach Brian Cowen addressed the Irish nation today, on Samhain, the day that is traditionally the Celtic New Year's Day.

The address was broadcast live from Cowen's home in Clara, Co. Offaly, by RTÉ Radio 1 and Television. However, many people watching with a sense of anticipation were rather disappointed and said that they were not able to understand what the Taoiseach was saying. Well, that's not a new thing with Brian Cowen. It happens every week in the Dail, too.

Dublin's Burning

Dubliners celebrated Hallowe'en last night in the
traditional way of the now famous 'Celtic Tiger' :

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright...

People really made a great effort and went all across the city
with huge Irish enthusiasm and plenty of pints of Guinness.

They burned down one pub, one block of flats,
and - as the coup de grâce - a whole factory.
As a side-show they also torched 50 cars,
which is quite an achievement in one night.

They stabbed 15 people and beat up 2 Gardai and 1 fireman,
which are still in hospital to show that Mary Harney cares.

They made sure that our emergency services work hard for their
wages and that Eircom gets a fair share of trick-or-treat money:
There were 800 calls to the Fire Brigade
and 500 calls to the Ambulance Service.

Happy Hallowe'en!