November Handicap Meeting

Remember Sean Fitzpatrick? Perhaps you do, as I mentioned him here before.
And no, I don't mean the banker (and chairman of Anglo Irish Bank, whom I mentioned as well).
I mean my neighbour, the philosopher and retired printer.

This morning he told me that he was going to the 'November Handicap Meeting' today. I was not sure what he meant by that, since I had never heard about that before.
But then I remembered that his wife is handicapped since she had a stroke a few years ago. I didn't want to look stupid, or appear as too nosy, so I didn't ask him about details.
I just assumed that he was going with his wife to a monthly meeting for handicapped people.

But then I saw his wife in the garden this afternoon, and began to wonder. So I went out and said hello, asking how she was, and that I had thought she was going to a meeting today.

She said she was fine, and that Sean had gone on his own, as she didn't really care much for the horses and couldn't bear the crowds at race meetings.

Now I was puzzled. Horses? Race meetings? I clearly remembered that Sean had said he was going to a handicap meeting. To avoid embarrassment I said no more and went back inside, where I sat down at my desk and googled the words "November Handicap Meeting".

It only took a few seconds, and then Google filled my computer screen with plenty of links to "handicap meetings". And guess what? They were all horse races! Not one was an actual meeting for handicapped people.

You might think I am stupid, or perhaps not.

I am not into horse racing, nor anything that uses animals in improper and exploitative ways. So I am not familiar with the internal expert lingo of the sport. But now that I have heard it, and read about it a good deal, I wonder why they use such strange and often even hilarious language in horse racing.

Everything in this sport seems to be totally commercialised and there is advertisement in every bit and detail. Even the names of the actual races are now pure advertisement. Doing my bit of research, I found many silly names, but here are only a few from yesterday alone:

• A. Bartlett & Sons (Airdrie) Ltd. Maiden Hurdle (could be a chastity contest)
• William Ewart Properties Handicap Hurdle (getting a mortgage is difficult now)
• JNwine.com Champion Steeplechase (Does the champion get a head start? And a bottle of wine?)
• Killultagh Properties Ltd. Steeplechase (They even sell churches now..., don't they?)
• Rainbow Telecom Handicap Steeplechase (does probably involve handling new types of mobile phones)
• Lough Developments Ltd. (Pro/Am) Flat Race (how to get a new apartment in a newly developed area)

I don't know how anyone can take such ridiculous names - and thus the whole horse racing business - for serious. Fortunately I will not have to occupy my little brain with the matter any longer, as I do now care even less for horse racing than I did before. The horses, I am sure, are having a good laugh at us.

The wrong Sean Fitzpatrick

Do you known a man called Sean Fitzpatrick? I do. He's a neighbour of mine, a retired printer and a bit of a philosopher.
In fact, he's quite good as a philosopher, and often has wisdom beyond his age and even beyond all other people I know around here.
After he retired, he actually went to the college, quietly and without telling anyone, doing a course in Philosophy once a week in the evening. This went on for a couple of years, and now he's a real philosopher and even has a certificate to prove it.
But he's never been on the radio. Not even on our useless local private station that brings three times more tacky ads than information.

So I was surprised and - for a moment - delighted when I heard his name mentioned on RTÉ today. Good on you, Sean, I thought, you've made it after all, and now the nation is listening to you.

But my joy was short-lived. Very soon I realised that the Sean Fitzpatrick RTÉ was talking with was a different man altogether. Not my dear and wise neighbour, but the chairman of Anglo Irish Bank. I had never heard of him before. Did you?
Funny really how certain people whose name is known only to a handful of Dublin 4 insiders get to the top of large companies and institutions and then they control serious elements of our lives.
And in the case of the banks make a right bollocks of it.

But messing up the economy and driving us almost over the cliffs does not mean these people are now shunned, ostracised or sacked. Oh no, they are given plenty of airtime on RTÉ, while those who would have something real to say never even get inside a studio, not even as member of the audience.

So this other Sean Fitzpatrick, the disastrous gambler with our money, has admitted now that his bank - like most other financial institutions - has "made mistakes".
Well, it's a long time since I heard that sort of confession from a money man. But the portion of humble pie he was willing to eat on air was not a large one. He insisted that they had not been reckless. I would disagree with him, and think that history will be with me when the books on the global credit crunch of 2008 are written some day.

The chairman of Anglo Irish Bank - one of the six whose entire operation is now guaranteed 100% by the State (which means really by you and me and all of us, with all our money) - also said he was "grateful for the € 400 billion guarantee scheme introduced by the government".

Well, he'd better be. And he'd better show it to every customer. Arrogant bank managers talking down on customers and patronising them over small loans, late payments or overdrafts should be a thing of the past. They are no longer acceptable and better disappear.

There's not one ordinary bank customer who has ever been as reckless, stupid and arrogant as the men in suits who control the banks. Yes, they have more than enough reason to be grateful to the State, and that means us, the nation. And they better learn to behave like normal people, ordinary folk that has to make ends meet week by week.

It will be a long time before I can trust a bank again, if ever. And I know I'm not alone. Quite the opposite. No-one I know trusts the banks. So perhaps they should be working hard to get their books in order and care for their customers, instead of talking sweetly on RTÉ.

Next time the Donnybrook crowd wants to hear the views of Sean Fitzpatrick, they'd better give my neighbour a call. He'd have a lot more to say than any banker, and it would be much more interesting to listen to.