Secret Cabinet Meeting in Co. Offaly

It has emerged that the Irish Cabinet had a secret meeting last night in a secluded place near Clara, the Taoiseach's home village in Co. Offaly.
When asked about it by journalists, the government's new unofficial spokesman Willie O'Dea refused to comment. But a reliable eyewitness reports that the meeting was held "in the spirit of the season", even though "some would have mistaken it for a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan".
Only Tanaiste Mary Coughlan (pictured right) refused to wear the traditional over-garment and appeared uncovered.
"I wouldn't wear a burka, so I'm not wearing this either," she was overheard saying to Taoiseach Brian Cowen, who eventually accepted her "eccentric attitude".
Foreign Affairs Minister Michael Martin commented that it was "not a beauty contest", adding that otherwise he would take his bedsheet off, too. But the Taoiseach was having none of it.
"You can do that in Cork, you tosser," he told Martin, "but not here in Clara. This is Offaly!"
Despite attempts to learn more about the nature of the meeting, no statement was issued and all participants have refused to comment.

Shooting from the Lip

Willie O'Dea, TD, Ireland's Minister for Defence,
has now got a new job, defending the indefensible fiscal
atrocities inflicted on the Irish people by the 2009 Budget.
While Finance Minister Brian Lenihan is hiding behind a
'huge workload' in his department, Willie is sent out into the
media as new government spokesman, shooting from the lip
and thus adding insult to the injuries Fianna Fail is inflicting
on us. Often seen as the comedian in the Cabinet, Willie O'Dea
is anything but funny when he tries to tell us that we all have
to bear the extra taxes a wasteful and ignorant government
is settling us with now, ten years after they squandered all the
wealth of the 'Celtic Tiger'. We won't forget this, Willie!